Hi, I'm Dee.
I started this blog over a year ago and then kind of forgot about it. Then, today I was being all miserable and emo and remembered I had a blog to write about how miserable and emo I feel.
So that's what I'm doing. I may even write some bad poetry and post lame pictures.
Look at me, 21st century girl. Yeah, I make myself ill too.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
My life sucks.
Forgive me for sounding a bit like a teenage girl right now.
It was almost perfect - he's smart, funny, a great writer and talker. Our kinks align.
Yesterday he admitted he didn't think he could love me. I'm awesome, fabulous, everything he could possibly want, and he knows he should feel more for me than he does.
But he doesn't feel it. And this was the second time I had let him get close to me.
In some ways it hurts less this time - part of me saw it coming. In other ways, it hurts even more - I thought since I knew what his neuroses were I could deal with them. Apparently I could deal with them, even if he can't.
I'm tired of giving all of myself to men, just to have it blow up in my face.
I'm tired of having all my exes as great friends.
I'm tired of knowing other great guys who I can't love either.
I hate the thought of starting over. Again. But that's what we do, right?
Oh yeah, and I'm still unemployed. Still not living my dream. Still not anywhere close to where I want to be in this life.
It was almost perfect - he's smart, funny, a great writer and talker. Our kinks align.
Yesterday he admitted he didn't think he could love me. I'm awesome, fabulous, everything he could possibly want, and he knows he should feel more for me than he does.
But he doesn't feel it. And this was the second time I had let him get close to me.
In some ways it hurts less this time - part of me saw it coming. In other ways, it hurts even more - I thought since I knew what his neuroses were I could deal with them. Apparently I could deal with them, even if he can't.
I'm tired of giving all of myself to men, just to have it blow up in my face.
I'm tired of having all my exes as great friends.
I'm tired of knowing other great guys who I can't love either.
I hate the thought of starting over. Again. But that's what we do, right?
Oh yeah, and I'm still unemployed. Still not living my dream. Still not anywhere close to where I want to be in this life.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Duck and Cover
So today they ran this earthquake drill in the morning. The dude in our office who has been appointed boy scout or whatever came by and poked his head in my kube.
"Duck and cover in two minutes!"
Yeah, sure. Bite me. Two minutes later I hear his high pitched squeal of a voice "It's an earthquake everybody! Duck and cover for one minute!"
So of course, I sat there and kept playing freecell. About 45 seconds later, boy scout's head pops over my cube wall.
"Did you duck and cover?"
Yeah, I just got up. Then he told me I had to go to the safe room for our team, which happens to have a coffee machine. It's the break room.
Boy scout tries to take roll while i start the coffee machine. Hit the button for black and the beans started grinding. I don't think I'm supposed to do that if this was a real earthquake. He glared at me but it looked like he was squinting at me really intensely.
So I survived the fake earthquake. Yay. Had this been a real earthquake, I'd probably still be playing freecell, provided the power stayed on. And drinking coffee.
"Duck and cover in two minutes!"
Yeah, sure. Bite me. Two minutes later I hear his high pitched squeal of a voice "It's an earthquake everybody! Duck and cover for one minute!"
So of course, I sat there and kept playing freecell. About 45 seconds later, boy scout's head pops over my cube wall.
"Did you duck and cover?"
Yeah, I just got up. Then he told me I had to go to the safe room for our team, which happens to have a coffee machine. It's the break room.
Boy scout tries to take roll while i start the coffee machine. Hit the button for black and the beans started grinding. I don't think I'm supposed to do that if this was a real earthquake. He glared at me but it looked like he was squinting at me really intensely.
So I survived the fake earthquake. Yay. Had this been a real earthquake, I'd probably still be playing freecell, provided the power stayed on. And drinking coffee.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Road to nowhere
Today I got to the office around 9:10. Stupid chick in mercedes SUV cut me off. I think she works in tax.
Total boredom today. Except when the coffee machine broke. I thought Kelly was gonna go out of her friggin mind. She walked down three floors to use the nice coffee machine legal has. They're supposed to replace ours next week. She said she'd buy Starbucks before she came to the office tomorrow.
I'm starting my tally of times the annoying secretary says 'boo-yah'. Today: 3. If she ever hits more than 8 (which I'm sure she has in the past), I may have to take matters into my own hands.
This job sucks my will to live.
Total boredom today. Except when the coffee machine broke. I thought Kelly was gonna go out of her friggin mind. She walked down three floors to use the nice coffee machine legal has. They're supposed to replace ours next week. She said she'd buy Starbucks before she came to the office tomorrow.
I'm starting my tally of times the annoying secretary says 'boo-yah'. Today: 3. If she ever hits more than 8 (which I'm sure she has in the past), I may have to take matters into my own hands.
This job sucks my will to live.
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